Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself

Hi everyone! I am so happy that you’re back! 

I’m sorry for the harsh title, I just really wanted to get your attention.

But don’t worry, I’ll cover the title in this post too!

I’m not really sure how to introduce this topic, but I feel like it’s one that should be spoken about, so I’ll just get into it!

**I will always say this little reminder, I am not an expert, I am not a guru, I am an imperfect person sharing her experiences and hopefully helping or influencing someone to live their best life.**

You are capable, you are couragious, you are worthy, and you are strong.

Telling myself these things seem a little dramatic and cheesy sometimes, but I need to say them to myself for some pretty uplifting reasons.

Growing up, my self-esteem mixed with my on-going anxiety has held me back by constantly telling me lies about myself. “I’m not short enough, I am so socially awkward, I’m not skinny enough, I am so weird, I am way too different, why can’t I enjoy what people my age enjoy?” The list goes on. Except the thing is, I didn’t even realize how often these thoughts were in my head. It’s like they are always there, but not in the forefront of my mind. Which in effect completely altered how I viewed myself and my life.

That is why I fill my life with compliments. I tell myself these “cheesy” and “dramatic” things because at the end of the day, if you’re not nice to yourself, it really won’t matter if other people are because you will always be in a negative headspace.

You are in control of how you view yourself and how you view your life. 

These negative and diminshing thoughts that run through your head are SO MUCH EASIER to hold onto than the positive and empowering thoughts. They are easier because feeling sorry for yourself requires less work than actually going out and becoming the best version of yourself. 

Don’t get me wrong, I have had days that I should have been doing anything but lying in bed eating ice cream and feeling sorry for myself, but I did it anyways. No one is perfect and everyone has bad days, everyone has bed weeks, everyone has bad months.

I’m not saying to ignore your struggles, but I am challenging you to transform them into motivation to become the best possible person you can be.

How I attempt to do that:

  • I take a step back and really think about what the most negative parts of my life are.
  • I take those negatives and decide what I should do about them. Whether that be completely throwing them out of my life or changing them into something good and empowering.

The best example that I can give you is how I view myself. This is an ongoing struggle for not only me, but I’m sure most of you. I take my weight. I always feel so sorry for myself when it comes to my weight. I take that negative energy (even if it takes a month to do so, because remember, no one is perfect) and I make a plan to change it. I just recently went through this change after months of feeling sorry for myself and treating my body badly.

Even the smallest step helps. 

In result, I started intermittent fasting and signed up for Orange Theory Fitness with my girlfriends. I already feel so much more alive and I’ve only been doing it for about a week!

The point of all of this: 

You are in control of your own life.

You are capable of amazing and powerful things.

But you have to decide that you want to achieve those things.

It’s so much easier said than done, I know. But even if this little reflection of mine made you start reflecting a little on your own life, then I feel like I have fulfilled some good today.

Remember, you are capable, you are couragious, you are worthy, and you are strong.

Now go and prove it to yoruself.

Sidenote: 

Share your stories with me. Let’s have conversations! I love talking to you all and hearing your feedback. We can all help each other through things like this! That’s the whole reason why I do this!

Stay curious & kind,

–TheBestSings

The Right People Will

Growing up, I always felt that I had trouble making and maintaining friendships. To this day, it is something that I internally struggle with on the daily. I think to myself “am I being a good friend?” “do they care about me as much as I care about them?” etc.

I’m writing about this because I know I am not the only person that feels this way. It is an uncomfortable topic to talk about, but I feel like it is important.

So like I said, friendships always made me anxious. I wanted the people I admired and wanted to be friends with to want the same things from me. Sometimes, I got lucky and those friendships stuck, sometimes they didn’t.

I’m talking about this because as I get older, the real ones are there. As we get older, we develop into who we are meant to be, we move away from home, we start new jobs, we aren’t so afraid to be our true selves anymore. And all of that is SO AMAZING and SO EXCITING!

Especially in our early 20’s, everyone is in such different parts of life. Some are in school, some are in different countries, some are engaged, some are starting completely new journeys, some have really changed (which is not a bad thing). Accepting all of these things and empowering each other is what I feel this stage of life is all about. We are all so caught up in this world we live in, and the true ones will stand by your side, support you, cheer you on, and be true and honest with you.

I have said this before, I am no guru, but I thought maybe a little reminder might inspire you to reach out to someone you might not have spoken to in a while, maybe even years. You never know what someone is going through, even a text can completely change their day.

If you can’t tell, my love language out of the 5 is “words of affirmation” 🙂

OR tell the people closest to you that you love and appreciate them for sticking around even through the hard times. Relationships are what bring the most joy into life. This interaction and support is what fuels only positivity into your life. Stay true to one another.

I seriously don’t mean to sound like I’m telling you what to do or that I am all-knowing. All I try to do on this blog of mine is speak from experience. Life can be hard and also wonderful, and by speaking through all of those things, even the bad, I hope to reach someone one day and help them realize that they are not alone. That they are powerful and beautiful no matter what they go through. I hope I could help 🙂

Stay curious & kind,

— TheBestSings